Consider Yourself Lucky to Still be Alive
by deannaG
Summary: Magnus and Max go to a warlock meeting. Max Grows Up in the Rune Series part 23.
1. Chapter 1

**Magnus**: _I thought it would be a good idea for him to be around warlocks for a change to balance out all the time he spent in the Institute._

**Alec: **_Boy, that was a mistake._

**Magnus Has A Gun **chapter 4

Let's find out the details.

Enjoy.

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Magnus and Max step out the portal into a large room. There's tables of food against the far wall and numerous tables and chairs in the center of the room.

There are people sitting at the tables, some are getting food and some are standing in groups talking.

Max looks around and sighs, "Poppa, I don't know anybody here."

Magnus laughs, "These are your fellow warlocks, Max. After fifteen years, it's about time you met some of them."

"I know Catarina."

Magnus laughs, "And?"

"Fine, Poppa."

Catarina sees them and waves. Max giggles and walks over to her. They hug. Magnus joins them.

Catarina smiles, "Max, is this your first warlock get together?"

Max nods, "Yeah."

Magnus laughs, "Max, you spend so much time in the Institute among ShadowHunters, it's about time you spent a little time surrounded by warlocks."

Max sighs, "Fine, Poppa."

Catarina smiles, "Magnus, don't pretend like you love these things."

Magnus sniffs, "I didn't say I did, but Max needs to embrace both fathers' people, not just his Daddy's."

Max rolls his eyes, "Whatever, Poppa."

Catarina kisses his forehead, "Max, walk around, get something to eat."

Max nods, "I guess." He walks over to the food tables.

Catarina whispers, "You just didn't want to come by yourself, that's why you dragged that poor boy here."

Magnus smiles, "Maybe."

Catarina laughs.

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Max grabs a couple of cookies and eats them as he walks around the room. He stops here and there to listen to conversations but doesn't talk to anybody.

He notices a warlock with two brown horns a few yards from his father and Catarina. Max walks over to a blonde warlock and taps her shoulder, "Excuse me, who's that?"

She smiles at Max and looks to see who he's pointing at. She rolls her eyes, "Oh, that's Dwight."

Max nods, "Thanks." He walks over to Dwight.

Dwight takes a big gulp of his scotch as he glares at Magnus' back and nods, "That is one lucky ass warlock."

Max asks, "Why?"

Dwight looks startled, "Oh didn't see ya there. That, my friend, is Magnus Bane."

Max nods, "Okay."

Dwight winks at Max as he points his glass at Magnus, "That warlock has been sampling some fine shadowhunting piece of ass."

Max's eyes narrow, "Oh?"

Dwight nods as he takes another drink, "Yes, he's real pretty and if Bane wasn't the High Warlock, I would surely get me some of that ass."

"Oh?"

"Damn right, he's only a ShadowHunter, I'm a powerful warlock, if he won't give it to me, I'll take it."

Max takes the glass out of Dwight's hand and smashes it into the older warlock's face. Max starts punching him with both fists, knocking Dwight to the floor.

Catarina looks over, "Oh my god, Magnus."

Magnus turns, then runs over with Catarina following close behind.

Magnus grabs Max's arm and pulls him off Dwight. Max's eyes are cold. He tries to pull away from his father, but Magnus has a strong grip on his arm, "Max, it's me Poppa."

Max blinks then nods without a word. Magnus lets his arm go and Max runs out the room. Magnus runs after him. He sees a portal close behind his son.

He walks back into the main room and goes over to Catarina, "What happened?"

She shakes her head, "Dwight didn't say. He just portalled out of here."

Lucille walks over, "Magnus, you know how Dwight gets after he has had a few."

Magnus nods, "Yeah."

Lucille sighs, "I didn't hear much, but it seemed like he was saying some disgusting things about your husband."

Magnus' eyes go cold, "Yeah, that would be Dwight. And saying that shit to our son wouldn't be the wisest thing he could have done."

Catarina nods, "Lucky I didn't hear him."

Magnus sniffs, "I would have sliced his tongue out with a butter knife."

Catarina nods, "Where's Max?"

"He portalled out. I assume he went home."

"What about Dwight?"

"If that son of a bitch is smart, he will stay in a corner, lick his wounds and move on."

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Alec looks up from his book when he hears a portal open. He smiles at his son, "Hey, blueberry, back already, where's Poppa?"

Max runs into his room without a word.

Alec raises an eyebrow as he stands up. He walks over to Max's room and peeks in. Max is laying on the bed with his back to the door.

Alec walks in and sits on the bed behind Max. He rubs his son's back, "Blueberry, what happened?"

Max turns around and rests his head against his father's leg. Alec strokes his hair, as Max mumbles, "I beat his ass."

Alec looks up and sees Magnus by the door. Alec returns his attention to Max, "Beat whose ass, blueberry?"

"Dwight."

"Why?"

"He said nasty things about you."

"Like what?"

Max puts his arms around his father's leg, "That if Poppa wasn't the High Warlock, he would..."

"What, Max?"

Max holds Alec tighter, "Touch you."

Magnus walks over and sits on the bed behind Max, "Dwight gets stupid when he gets drunk." He rubs Max's back.

"Very stupid, Poppa."

Alec nods, "After he opened his mouth, that is when you beat him."

"Yes, Daddy."

Alec sighs, he glances at Magnus, "Is Dwight going to be a problem?"

Magnus shrugs, "Like I said, everybody knows what happens when he has too much to drink. I guess it depends on how much of a beating his _ego_ took after getting his ass whipped by a fifteen year old."

"Okay. I guess we have to wait to see what he does."

Max looks up, "Sorry, Poppa."

Magnus kisses his forehead, "Nothing to be sorry about, blueberry. This is all Dwight's fault."

Alec nods, "Poppa is right, Max. If he can't control his mouth when he drinks, then he shouldn't drink in public."

"He's lucky I didn't hear what he said."

Alec smiles, "You would have done more than beat his ass."

Magnus nods, "Damn right. He'd probably be dead."

Alec laughs, "And if Catarina had heard?"

Magnus laughs, "He'd definitely be dead."

Max giggles as he sits up, "All three of us beating him would have been funny."

Alec kisses his forehead, "I'm probably the only ShadowHunter with three warlocks watching over me."

Magnus nods, "I would guarantee that."

Max sniffs, "Nobody messes with my Daddy."

Alec nods, "Okay, so lets write up what happened, just in case he makes a big deal about it."

Max shakes his head, "No."

"Max, he's going to spin it so that he's innocent and you attacked him."

"I'm not telling _you_."

Alec raises an eyebrow, "Blueberry, you can tell me anything."

Max shakes his head, "Not this, Daddy."

"Fine, then Poppa can take your statement."

Max's eyes widen, "I'm not telling Poppa."

Magnus squeezes his hand, "Max, it's okay."

Max shakes his head, "I can't."

Alec nods, "Okay, Max."

"Aunt Izzy."

"You'll tell her?"

Max nods, "Uh huh."

"Fine, we'll go to the Institute now and you can give Izzy your statement."

"You can't stay."

Alec kisses his forehead, "Not a problem, blueberry. I'll explain to her what I need, then I'll come back here. When you're done, you come home, then we'll go to dinner. Your choice."

Max chews on his lip, "You're not mad?"

Alec hugs him, "Why would I be mad? If you aren't comfortable telling either Poppa or I, don't worry about it."

Magnus nods as he hugs Max, "Yes, you've done nothing wrong, Max."

Max weakly smiles, "Okay."

Alec and Max get off the bed. Alec holds his son's hand, "Ready?"

Max takes a deep breath, "Yes, Daddy."

Alec smiles, "Okay. Magnus, I'll be right back. Max, let's go."

Max opens a portal and they leave his room.

Magnus stands, walks out Max's room and goes over to the bar. He needs a martini.

_**-tbc-**_

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What's worse, ignorant ShadowHunters or ignorant warlocks?


	2. Chapter 2

The following day.

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Dwight walks into the War Room. He was surprised to get a summons to the Institute so quickly, since he only filed the complaint against the blue warlock this morning. He sees a female ShadowHunter with long black hair looking at him. He smiles as he walks over, "Afternoon Miss, I'm here to see the Head."

Izzy nods, "You Dwight?"

"Yes, I am."

Izzy nods, "Follow me." They walk to the elevators and take one upstairs in silence. Izzy walks him to Alec's office and knocks on the door.

Alec answers, "Come in."

Izzy opens the door and stands back, so Dwight can walk in.

Dwight's smile quickly leaves his face, when he sees Alec.

Alec nods, "Thank you Izzy." She smiles as she closes the door and walks back to the elevators. Alec coldly looks at Dwight, "Sit."

Dwight slowly sits in one of the chairs in front of Alec's desk.

Alec nods as he reaches for a folder, "You are all healed up, I see."

"I'm a warlock, I heal quickly."

"Right. Let's get started." He pulls a page from the folder and glances at it, "According to your complaint, quote, _I was only being friendly and smiled at him but I guess he didn't like a man smiling at him and he started pummeling my face_, unquote." Dwight nods.

Alec continues, "You also state, _I did nothing to provoke him except smile_, unquote"

Dwight nods, "Yes, that was all I did and he attacked me."

"Hmm. I was surprised to see this on my desk this morning, since it's more a warlock issue than a ShadowHunter thing."

"I don't know who the guy is, but I figured you would find out and take care of it better."

"Better how?"

"Meaning that a slap on the wrist is all the punishment he would get and it would be done with."

"It's still a warlock issue."

Dwight shrugs, "I don't want to make a big deal about it."

"Then why not let it go all together?"

"He should be punished for beating me for nothing."

Alec nods, "Nothing." He takes another sheet from the folder and reads, "_He's real pretty and if Bane wasn't the High Warlock, I would surely get me some of that ass_."

Dwight's jaw drops, "Who said that?"

"It would seem that _**you **_did."

Dwight nervously laughs, "It was just talk."

Alec nods, "I suppose, '_he's only a ShadowHunter, I'm a powerful warlock, if he won't give it to me, I'll take it'_, was just talk as well?"

"Of course, two guys talking."

Alec nods, "So what really happened? Was it just a misunderstood smile or quote 'two guys talking' unquote'?"

Dwight swallows, "Two guys talking."

Alec puts the sheets back in the folder, then gestures behind Dwight, "I believe you know my husband."

Dwight turns around and goes pale as he see Magnus sitting on the sofa against the wall. Dwight turns back to Alec, "Yes."

Alec nods, "Now, if my husband or parabatai heard this shit, they would have killed you on the spot." Dwight swallows.

Alec smiles, "Consider yourself lucky that my son, in his words, only beat your ass."

Dwight swallows, "Your son?"

"Yes, you said that shit to my son. My fifteen year old son. Shit my son couldn't tell Magnus or I."

Dwight sits speechless.

Alec nods, "Now that we understand each other, I'm destroying this story you created and I want you to write a formal apology to my son."

Dwight silently nods.

"The High Warlock of Brooklyn has informed me, that he no longer wants you in New York and you have a week..." Magnus coughs. Alec raises an eyebrow, "Three days?" Magnus sniffs. Alec smiles, "Tomorrow?" Magnus nods. Alec continues, "He wants you gone by tomorrow morning."

Dwight stands, "Tomorrow? That doesn't give me any time."

Magnus walks over and grabs Dwight by his hair. He whispers in Dwight's ear, "Tomorrow, or I will show you what happens when you threaten my husband." He pushes Dwight towards the door.

Dwight opens his mouth but Magnus' cat eyes glare at him. Dwight opens the door and leaves the office without saying another word. He walks to the elevators and sees a male blond ShadowHunter leaning against the wall.

An elevator arrives and the ShadowHunter steps in with Dwight. They go downstairs in silence.

Dwight steps out and walks into the War Room. He stops as he sees the Head's son sitting on one of the tables. To his left is the female ShadowHunter with dark hair and to his right is a red haired female ShadowHunter. All three of them are glaring at Dwight. He looks behind him and sees the male ShadowHunter.

Dwight quickly walks through the room, then runs down the hallway to the door. He leaves the Institute.

Alec and Magnus walk into the War Room. Max runs over to his fathers and hugs Alec.

Magnus asks, "He gone?"

Clary laughs, "Yes, and I think he peed himself."

Magnus sniffs, "Lucky he still has something to pee with."

Jace winces, "Damn, Magnus."

Izzy smiles, "The punishment needs to fit the crime, even if it is just talk."

Magnus nods, "Exactly." Max hugs Magnus.

Jace asks, "So?"

Alec answers, "We see if he's still in New York tomorrow."

"And if he is?"

Magnus smiles, "That would be a poor decision on his part."

Jace nods, "Gotcha."

Alec nods, "Until then, we have a city to keep safe."

Clary smiles, "Yes sir." She, Jace and Izzy return to the computers.

Magnus puts his arms around Alec, "Home?"

Alec nods, "I got everything done."

"Good. Max, ready to go home?"

Max nods, "Yes, Poppa."

They say goodbye to Clary, Jace and Izzy. Magnus opens a portal and they leave.

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The next morning, Magnus and Jace are outside Dwight's home in Park Slope. Magnus knocks on the door. Nobody answers. He tries the door and it's unlocked. He glances at Jace as he takes out his seraph blade. Magnus brings magic to his fingertips, as they slowly walk inside.

The first floor is empty except for a folding table. On top of the table is a piece of paper.

Magnus picks up the paper, as Jace walks through the rest of the house.

_I, Dwight Francis, apologize for causing any distress to Max Lightwood Bane. _

Magnus nods.

Jace returns to the ground floor, "Place is empty. What's that?"

"Dwight's apology to Max."

"Guess he didn't want to call your bluff."

Magnus nods, "He must have done a little research yesterday. Alec never told him our son's name."

"Interesting. He probably also researched what happened to those who cross you."

"More specifically, those that have harmed Alec since I've known him."

Jace laughs, "Good point. That would be a long list of dead men."

"Exactly."

"We are considering this matter closed?"

Magnus nods, "Indeed it is. I'll give this to Max and we can close the book on it."

Jace smiles, "But you are going to find out where he disappeared to."

"Oh yes."

Jace nods, "Just in case."

Magnus smiles, "Yes, just in case."

_**the end**_

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LOL, can you imagine Dwight looking through history and seeing how many Shadowhunters and warlocks have been killed by Magnus because they threatened, hurt, tried to kill Alec?

And him making the wise decision not to be added to that list.


End file.
